Demons'
by Guardian.Ghost
Summary: Song fic with Imagine Dragon's Demons. Red contemplates everything after The Factory and Liz finally learning that Red was at the fire. But what she doesn't know is that he has so much more that she doesn't know and the pain of that alone is enough for Red to think on everything.


**A/N: So I thought I would try my hand at a song fic, this takes place at the end of the Luther Braxton Conclusion. I was orginally going to make a youtube music video about this and use this song and just might. This is for my readers and my possible take on the relationship of Red and Liz. This is from Red's perspective and I hope that this good. It was inspiration as I'm sadly sick again, better than yesterday but still sick.**

**I don't own the song, just bought it to listen to. I don't own Blacklist or the characters. This is also as cannon as I can make it. It's it's own piece and in no way related to the Blacklist Fic that I am almost done with. Cheers!**

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**"Demons" – Imagine Dragons**

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_**When the days are cold**_

_**And the cards all fold**_

_**And the saints we see**_

_**Are all made of gold**_

He didn't know when it happened, he had no idea that his life would have changed as much as it had. The choice that he made twenty years had changed everything. His wife, and the woman that been on there the day his world changed, took everything from him. He sat there after the events of Luther Braxton. Lizzie should have never seen what she did, he should have stopped it and brought her out of the dreams. He knew that Liz had memories and doubts and now with how she perceived him, he had no idea how much it would shatter his heart when she shouted at him. _"DON'T TOUCH ME!"_

Holding the tumbler in hand he remembered the past as he stared at the tv before gazing over to the fire, it's flames holding him captive as he was involuntarily dragged into the past.

_**When your dreams all fail**_

_**And the ones we fail**_

_**Are the worst of all**_

_**And the blood's run stale**_

_Stepping into the house and hiding the girl, Red spun around in fear and looked at the woman that had been a close friend to him. _

"_What are you doing, you can't hide her here; you have to give her back!"_

"_I can't do that, they'll kill her!"_

"_They will kill us, and if you don't get rid of her, I'll make sure that someone comes here."_

_Red looked at the woman in shock, after learning what he had and what would become the Fulcrum he refused to let anyone else suffer, he wasn't the first to discover this information that could destroy the government and the world. But he wouldn't be the last person to die._

"_She is the reason I'm still alive." Red watched at the woman pulled a radio and a gun from the back of her waist pointing the revolver at his chest._

"_No, I won't let you get to it or her." Red went for the gun for the fear that is she managed to get a shot off that she could hit the little girl he was protecting. Struggling with the woman there was a slamming on the door downstairs from the girl's room. Grunting and pushing against the weapon and the woman the weapon was angled in such a way the gun went off and the round slammed into his side. He dropped like a rock, he pictured his wife and his daughter. This wasn't supposed to happen, this woman was supposed to be his friend and his coworker. He should have known she was dirty, he should have looked further._

"_Search the house and check the attic." The woman said as Red laid face down on the carpeted floor bleeding._

Shaking his head Red looked away from the fire and sighed taking another drink from his tumbler, the pain was too much for him, he never imagined that all of his secrets and the past could be destructive to him and Liz. He wanted nothing more to protect her as another memory surfaced from the depths of his mind.

_**I wanna hide the truth**_

_**I wanna shelter you**_

"_The say that Sam told the story…" Red paused before looking at Liz who sat beside him in the car, they had been through much and yet there was so little to be told between the two. It was clear they were dancing around each other more so him than Liz and part of him felt for her but he knew that she were to ever find out…._

"_Was that one night, an old friend showed up at his door, scared. Friend told Sam that he was leaving town; that he was in danger and that he needed someone to care for a little girl. And that night her father died in a fire. So Sam, took the little girl in and raised her as his own. Always sheltering her from the truth about her biological father." Liz looked at Red in disbelief questioning him as to why he killed Sam._

_**But with the beast inside**_

_**There's nowhere we can hide**_

The images turned into the when he was in the box when Anslo Garrick had taken the Post Office, he watched Luli a close associate and friend murdered. The rage that he felt at her death was nothing like the rage when he left to stand in the cage and watch as Dembe was about to be down only for moments later Liz was brought before him with a gun to her head. The animal that he had caged behind his suits, his fedoras and his bravado broke loose. He had to do whatever it took to protect Liz, he was forever protecting her and he wouldn't let her suffer for his mistakes, not for his past and sure as hell not for him. When he got Ressler to wake up from passing out he stepped out of the cage and was slapped into cuffs starring at Liz, his eyes were only for her, he had a promise to keep.

_**No matter what we breed**_

_**We still are made of greed**_

_**This is my kingdom come**_

_**This is my kingdom come**_

Blinking away the memories he looked to the empty tumbler and pushed himself to a stand walking over to the table that rest of the scotch. Each step slammed him with memories that he wanted to hide away, his demons were always there and there would be nothing that he could do. His twenty years created his kingdom, his twenty years had created the monster that the Concierge of Crime. No amount of money could turn back time, no amount of business he generated could erase the look of hatred on Liz's face in that run down pool. He had made his palace and as dark as it was he was monstrous enough that his hope started to run dry, and the shadows that had been held at bay by the light that was Liz had disappeared before him.

_**When you feel my heat**_

_**Look into my eyes**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_

Lifting the decanter top off Red lifted the crystal and filled the tumbler watching the brown liquid fill the expensive crystal in his hand, another memory flashed through his head, it was of him and Liz had come to him asking about her father and talking about what Tom had said after they missed Berlin. They sat side by side as he held his fedora in hand. As soon as Liz said that Tom told her that her father was still alive, his heart broke at the lie he was about to tell her.

"_Liz, look at me. I am telling you with no uncertainty that your father is dead. He died that night in that fire."_

_**Don't get too close**_

_**It's dark inside**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_

There was so much that Liz should know, but the power of those words would kill him, they would kill her. It would be better to let the demons lie with him, he could at least take it as he was just only a monster to her. Better a monster than knowing that he had been the one to protect her, the one to take her away from whatever was being planned for her. Liz was special that much he knew and would always know, and he would do whatever it took to make sure she would remain free of the world that wanted to take her away from the light.

_**At curtain's call**_

_**It's the last of all**_

_**When the lights fade out**_

_**All the sinner's crawl**_

Topping the decanter he stepped away from the side table and padded to the window and reached up to his neck pulled at the tie that had every day reminded him of the noose around his neck. His day would one day come and he would die, before he did he would make sure that real monsters that made him what he was would pay. He would make sure that he would protect Liz to his dying day as if she was his own daughter, she should have been.

Looking to the crystal tumbler in his hand the brown swirled into the flooring of the ship that he saw Liz on after the murder of the Harbour master. Speaking up Red had to withhold a wince she Liz jumped, she admitted after her told her that the situation was in hand. Tom, it was always Tom and Red watched Liz break apart. His heart broke for her as he told her that love was being powerless. To him it really was, he loved her as child, loved her as she grew up and he would continue loving her no matter how much she hated him. He just hoped that she would see that one day.

_**So they dug your grave**_

_**And the masquerade**_

_**Will come calling out**_

_**At the mess you made**_

Hearing a knock on the door, Dembe walked in and stood at his side.

"Raymond, DC PD has launched an investigation in the murder of the harbour master. Agent Keene's contact has cracked, the body has been revealed and it has compromised Mr. Kaplan as well as the crew that has helped her. What would you like me to do?"

Red's eyes lifted to the man that he had rescued as a young teen, he had turned into a better man than he had ever hoped.

"Fix this, quietly and if you have to pay off the PD to scrap the investigation. Do so. Protect Agent Keene at all costs." Dembe left the room as Red walked to the window and lifted a hand to the window frame looking at the reflection that was staring back at him.

_**Don't wanna let you down**_

_**But I am hell bound**_

_**Though this is all for you**_

_**Don't wanna hide the truth**_

The healing scar from when he caught in the explosion at the Factory was livid as was the bruise on the side of his face that he hid behind make up. Pulling out the handkerchief from his back pocket he dipped it into the tumbler and raised it to his face and wiped at the side of his face revealing the massive bruising he had sustained. Liz would never know how much pain he had gone through to make sure that she would remain safe.

Putting the tumbler down on the window sill, Red wiped away all of the make-up and stared at his damaged visage, half of his face it seemed had been hit hard enough when he threw himself over top of Liz before the piping had hit him and door had knocked him off of her and he knew no more.

Setting the cloth down next to the tumbler he finished undoing the loose tie and he pulled it off his neck followed by the vest he shed as well. Red took the cuff links out next setting them next to the tumbler taking another drink of the scotch. Undoing the shirt buttons slowly he grunted slightly as he pulled the shirt tails out of the waist of his pants and dropping the shirt to the floor. The bruising was livid all along his torso under the bandages of his chest and side. The explosion Liz would never know how much he took to make sure she was alive, even if she would never know, she should have at least known better than to follow him.

_**No matter what we breed**_

_**We still are made of greed**_

_**This is my kingdom come**_

_**This is my kingdom come**_

It could be said that he wanted her close, but he should have known better than to enter her life. He should have remained in the shadows and taken care of her that way. Greed, he wanted to meet her again after all of those years, he wanted to share his world with her and hold onto that only light that she gave him when he heard her screaming in that fire.

_**When you feel my heat**_

_**Looking into my eyes**_

_**It's where the demons hide**_

_**It's where the demons hide**_

There was something about looking at Liz that gave Red hope every day; part of him, the part that he held in the shadows, the part that he kept hidden behind every facet of his life he hoped wouldn't be tainted by the thing that he had become over the years. His eyes tell stories, his tell of hope, they tell of pain, they tell of history that demanded to be told but could not. The darkness held that in check, it was rare for Red to show emotion now these days. The past could not be changed, his wife no longer loved him. His child was missing, she ran and ran from her father and there would nothing he could do but look for her. All that was left were the memories of the past that needed to be buried but part of him couldn't, not if it meant burying Liz as well.

_**They say it's what you make**_

_**I say it's up to fate**_

_**It's woven in my soul**_

_**I need to let you go**_

_**Your eyes, they shine so bright**_

_**I wanna save that light**_

_**I can't escape this now**_

_**Unless you show me how**_

Stepping away from the blackened window Red took his tumbler and walked to the bathroom turning the light on. His lighted reflection this time didn't hold any horror for him, he knew that whatever was his body would be hidden behind the suits, behind the armour that was the criminal. Reaching for the cloth on the rail he leaned over the sink and wet it and cleaned away the dried blood on his chest and down his side. Bringing the cloth to be rinsed out he watched the red taint the water; red it was the color of Liz's dress when he went with her to embassy to break into the safe. It was the smile that she shyly offered Red on the dance floor when she was nervous, it was the light from light that made Red take every beating, all the lashing that the woman did to him including the pen to the neck the first job that they shared. It was the colour of passion, it was the colour of rage, it was the colour of love, and it was the colour of the fire.

Washing away all the blood, Red knew that one day that he would have to let Liz go and let her decide everything, maybe after this, maybe he should let her go. But the smile and the looks that she gave him when she didn't hate him made it all worth all of what he had been through.

Maybe one day he could find the courage to show her just how much she meant to him, maybe he could show her the scars and pain he endured for her. Maybe Liz's light could come back and maybe, just maybe he could find a way to heal the pain in his heart and live life in peace.

_**When you feel my heat**_

_**Look into my eyes**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_

But in the meantime he would take it all, the demons of the past, the demons of the present and the demons of the future would have to reside in the shell of a man that had given everything up for the safety and the life of one. After pulling the bandages off and replacing them he looked into his own eyes and watched as the darkness covered over everything that was once good about him, some day that light can find its way out, but not now. It'll be a long time before he's free of everything he's ever done, until then he has a job to do.

_**Don't get too close**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_

_**It's where my demons hide**_


End file.
